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An Open Letter to the Person Who's Struggling to Change

An Open Letter to the Person Who's Struggling to Change

I wrote this letter to someone I love who's struggling to change their life. Maybe, it's for you, or maybe it's for someone you know too.

Change can be really, really, really hard. Especially if you don't feel ready for it. But beauty can grow in the most unexpected places, and you never know how resilient you are until you've done the things you thought you could never do.

This letter is a simple reminder that there's hope. That the fire can be rekindled and small changes can make a big difference.

Feel free to share this with whoever you think might need it. You never know who might need a virtual hug (or a real one) today.

And for a gift that speaks a thousand words, this art print: "I have decided that this will be a very good rest of my life."

I wrote this letter to someone I love who's struggling to change their life. Maybe, it's for you, or maybe it's for someone you know too. This letter is a simple reminder that there's hope. That love can be rekindled and small changes can make a big difference. Share this with whoever you think might need it.

If You're Struggling to Change

I know you're hurting. I know this is a hard time for you. You're struggling just to get through because, let's face it, change can make you doubt everything. But what you're going through now? It won't always be this way. I hope you know that too.

I love you.

I wish I could make everything better, and easier, but that's not for me to do. This is your process, your inner work, and no one can take that from you. Nobody can do the things that only you can do.

It's hard -- trust me, I know -- working on your life from the inside out.

But you realize just how powerful you are. That the world is colored by how you see it. That you see in the world what you carry in your heart.

You watch how things start to change as you start to look at them differently. You know that, no, the things themselves don't change, not really -- you do.

You can't change everything all at once, either, and there are some things you'll never be able to change. But things will get better if you take it all one step at a time. I just hope you keep in mind that the best changes start on the inside.

I want you to know that I believe in you.

After all you've been through, I know you can get through this too. You have it in you. You have everything you need, within you.

I get it, it seems like this shouldn't be happening to you. It shouldn't be so hard. But in truth, "should" is a pretty useless word when you're looking to the past. We can't change what's already happened.

We only have power in the present moment: the power to choose, the power to love, the power to start over.

No matter what happened then, you have a say in how you live now. No matter what's going on now, you have a say in how you respond, in what you focus on, in how you treat others and how you treat yourself.

I love you, and I want you to take care of you.

Know that I'll be here. I'll be a friend to you the whole way through.

You'll get through.

You might mess up, you might get angry with yourself, but don't stay down for too long. Don't believe every negative thing your brain tells you. Don't let your mind make you a prisoner to fear. Don't forget that you're way more resilient than you think or feel.

Please, don't wait too long to be happy.

One mistake doesn't ruin everything you've worked for. If you make one, remember it's the courage to start again that means more than anything. Where you're going is more important than where you've been.

Take more deep breaths. Listen to your heart. Trust yourself. Have compassion for the things in your life that hurt to look at.

The person you've always wanted to be is waiting for you.

The person you've always wanted to be is ready for you.

I love you.

. . .

Tell me:

Which part of this letter did you need to read?

Tell me in the comments. I'd love to know what hits home for you.

With you,


P.S. Want these kinds of posts in your inbox? Sign up for Tuesday emails and you'll also get my Healing Brave Manifesto, totally free.

I wrote this letter to someone I love who's struggling to change their life. Maybe, it's for you, or maybe it's for someone you know too. This letter is a simple reminder that there's hope. That love can be rekindled and small changes can make a big difference. Share this with whoever you think might need it.

Comments on this post (17)

  • Dec 09, 2022


    — PaulaJo Midkiff

  • Apr 17, 2021

    Johanna, your story, thank you truly for sharing so openly in this space so you can be seen. I see you. My heart goes out to you and your girls for all you’ve been through, though you did not deserve so much pain. Yet you are here still and you are trying, and that is something. That is everything. Sometimes the “why” is never answered and all that’s left for us is to decide what to do with the time we’ve been given, and the hand we’ve been dealt. I honor and respect you immensely for showing up for your children and overcoming the past and doing your best to carry that pain in the present. If anything, you give your children support and hope for the future. May love envelope you and your beautiful children. May you know peace. May you be free.

    — Jennifer Williamson

  • Apr 11, 2021

    I needed to hear every single word you said in this letter. My soul craved just a bit of hydration. My bones have gone dry. It’s as if a tree has withered all its leaves and the only thing remaining are the dry branches. I’ve tried so hard to keep pushing in this thing we call life. I’m a single mother of 3 beautiful children. There’s a lot of mistakes I have made through out my life, but my children isn’t one of them. If I could take on all the pain they’ve endured, God knows I would do it. I try not to focus on the past, but I just can’t seem to over come that pain. I was angry with God for years. Because I told myself, what kind of lesson is this? My first husband , father of my two oldest girls was sentenced to life in prison when my oldest was only 5 and my middle daughter was 1 month old. I managed to surpass the struggles and hardships, only to find myself married a second time around with the father of my son whom was sexually abusing my oldest and molesting my second daughter. My son was only 3 when he was in-prisoned. Till this day we do counseling for my girls and myself. My oldest is soon to be 17 and my middle child 11. What was the purpose in that?? I have a heart of gold, I don’t do wrong to anyone , I’ve always been in a Christian household. I just can’t understand why so much pain ? This is just scratching the surface, not to mention my own father molested my niece and I lost my dad at my teenage years. I’ve never had a father or that husband role model. Sometimes a woman can’t do it all alone. God knew Adam wasn’t good alone so he gave him Eve. So tell me , why am I soon to be 35 and haven’t reached these milestones that the norm family does? The American dream, the right marriage and beautiful home with a dog for your children to grown with and build memories. Sorry if I sound resentful and spiteful. I am at moments, but suicidal never. I would never give my children a burden of more pain. Only a few close people know my story, maybe this is what I needed, to finally tell my story to someone who doesn’t know me. Thank you for hearing me

    — Johanna

  • Mar 21, 2021

    Stephen, some things in life are just so hard to overcome and find a way through. You can find a way though, I believe that in my heart of hearts – sometimes it means we need to stop thinking so hard and learn from our hearts and trust the process by what feels right inside. It’s a practice of inner guidance that’s helped me and it means something different for everyone, but that relationship with yourself, that you take into every other relationship, is a good place to focus. Sending you all my love and strength for this next phase. You are stronger than you think. x

    — Jennifer Williamson

  • Mar 21, 2021

    Thank you Hamid, love right back to you.

    — Jennifer Williamson

  • Mar 21, 2021

    I forgot to say. That your letter is very good and inspiring. I just hope I can be where Touareg. I know the words and have wanted to say them. It’s just hard.

    — Stephen Ayers

  • Mar 21, 2021

    I to have been struggling with change. I thought I was changing for the better, but the people I love do not see this. They do not see where I have been or what I am going through. I continually pray to God and Jesus to help me, knowing I must do my part for change to take place. This has not happened yet. I do really try to not let those loved ones to be unforgiving. I truly don’t know what to do, but listen and keep trying to change. I do not know what God and Jesus want from me. I look back and for the most part I tried to do the right thing. For the past twelve years I must have failed miserably. I will continue to get better than I was. I will continue to pray. Maybe they will answer my prayers. I do not won’t to lose my faith, but it is a constant struggle. I truly want those I love to love me back during these hard times. I really don’t know what God and Jesus want me to do. They know what’s in my heart. Yet it has taken and even today do I see a difference. Things seemed to be getting worse than better. Maybe that’s what they want for me I am so blessed now and should look at life differently. Maybe through the agony of the storm I will get through it and finally see the sunshine. I must admit that I am in a dark place in my life. I do not know what to do, except not let today take me to an even lower place. I do love the ones in my life. Again as far as God and Jesus are concerned I can only pray that they allow me to see the sun before it’s to late. I am in a dark place.

    — Stephen Ayers

  • Dec 09, 2020

    Such a beautiful letter, just love u

    — Hamid baloch

  • Jun 15, 2020

    Cynthia, that brings me so much joy to read, thank you for sharing! I hope this continues to serve you and helps you support your niece. Wishing her and you the strength and light you need to make it through, and all the love and happiness that you deserve. x

    — Jennifer Williamson

  • Jun 15, 2020

    This letter is beautiful! I have been struggling with what to say to my niece who has been going through a very hard time! No one believes in her, not even her own mother! I KNOW there is a good person in her that wants to come out and change but she doesn’t think she can do it ! I never had the right words to say to her! “The person you’ve always wanted to be is waiting for you. The person you’ve always wanted to be is ready for you”.
    Thank you!

    — Cynthia Sobotka

  • May 20, 2020

    Take more deep breaths listen to your heart

    — Reen

  • Mar 15, 2020

    Hanna, thank you so much for your kind words and for writing this. It means the world to me and brightened my day! Grateful this moved you <3

    — Jennifer Williamson

  • Mar 15, 2020

    To Jennifer, thank you so much for your writing. I really respect your art. It’s comforting, hopeful advice. I am glad i found your website through Pinterest while reading your “I Choose To Love” poem. It was really moving and this letter is the same. Thank you Jack also. I agree with you on that. God is really the answer for our hard times. We can’t do it on our own at all.

    — Hanna Akom Wiredu

  • Mar 09, 2020

    Jim, thank you for sharing your favorite part! I hope it serves whoever needs it xx

    — Jennifer Williamson

  • Mar 09, 2020

    Jack, beautiful advice. Looking inward, upward, and forward… into who you truly are. Thank you for sharing!

    — Jennifer Williamson

  • Mar 09, 2020

    I like “Please, don’t wait too long to be happy.”
    Your friend is lucky to have a friend like you.
    Your letter is beautiful, your words are so nice.
    I hope your friend reads them, and takes your advice.

    — Jim

  • Mar 09, 2020

    I would tell anyone to look into at what their soul really wants.
    Then, look up to the sky where the heavens are and ask God & Jesus for the help to get what your soul needs. They’re listening.
    Then, look forward and be that person of who you have asked to become.

    — Jack Hurst

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