Since I lost my brother to suicide, and then my dad to heart failure, I've been a heck of a lot more aware about what works for me and what doesn't. I've learned there are things you don't have to do -- the sorts of things that chip away at your quality of life.

We have such little time here. We might as well make the most of it.

You might as well live *your* life.

Here's what I've learned so far from my healing process. I wonder if life has taught you some of these same things, too...

20 Things You Don't Have to Do

1. What everyone else is doing.
2. Feel bad about setting boundaries.
3. Feel selfish for taking care of yourself.
4. Overextend yourself (stay longer, give more, work harder) to prove you're enough. (You're already that.)
5. Say yes to what feels like a "no" and make excuses when you do say no.
6. Share the same exact beliefs as someone you love.
7. Fake being happy.
8. Fake being unhappy.
9. Control what happens inside of others. (You have your own stuff to work on.)
10. Minimize or apologize for your feelings.
11. Hide your pain, imperfections, strengths, and quirks.
12. Have it all figured out.
13. Hate your job.
14. Get paid for doing what you love.
15. Feel guilty about what you eat.
16. Explain your sobriety, spirituality, relationship status, food choices, or your decision to not have children.
17. Stay the same.
18. Change before you're ready. Rush your healing. Take a leap of faith when there's no faith.
19. Let your heartaches and grievances take up all the space in your life.
20. Anything that goes against your values. (You do need to know what your values are, though.)

. . .

Tell me:

What has your healing process taught you about what you DON'T need to do?

Tell me in the comments. I'd love to know what you can relate to or would add to this list!

Jen

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