Much of my work with Healing Brave revolves around the idea that my time is better spent on what I can and will do now, rather than trying to answer un-answerable questions like “Why me?” or “Why you?” or “Why this?”
I feel that asking myself “What now?” is more appropriate and productive.
That’s not to say I don’t still, more than a decade after losing my brother to suicide, wonder “Why him?” and grieve for what could have been.
We need to be allowed to have those times, too. We need to say “Let me be angry.” “Let me have this pain.” “Let me find my way through it.”
We must be allowed to be real and human. There is always work to be done.
I had one of those moments recently, the kind that are hard to share. A conversation of the heart.
Thank you, by the way, for letting me express those kinds of moments here, in the way of poetry and affirmation. It takes the hurt and lays it out plain.
It’s oddly one of the things that helps, almost more than anything.
Why ~ A Poem for the Grieving
I am light but
I don’t feel like it
Most of the time.
Most of the time I can hold incredible
But I can never reach where you are.
I can never hold on without you
The holes in my body and
That’s never been the same
Since you left.
I am light but
I have to forget your voice
I have to let your pain go.
I court the impossible
And even so, we both know
You never could because we’ve shared a home.
This will always be home to me.
I am light and free.
I wear the darkness,
You could ever see.
It takes right decision after
To keep from being cold.
To hear your voice
Full of life
And not sob for the canyon that
Cuts through my own.
I am light like air
No ground under me.
I haven’t been able to hold on
To you, in
You left me with nothing
And everything and
I am light, yes, but still I carry
. . .
Please, tell me:
Which part of this poem can you relate to and in what way?
Tell me in the comments.
Whatever you share means more to me than you could ever know.
If you're looking for something to hold on to in your time of grieving, or to give to a friend, here are a couple prints that might help:
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