Use these positive self-talk alternatives in place of self-depreciating statements. When you feel like beating yourself up, instead turn to something more productive and creative: try loving yourself anyway. Risk curiosity and be willing to look at yourself through the lens of grace.
The fall doesn’t matter as much when we believe in the comeback. This is a journey.
What we focus on intently expands, and focusing on negativity is essentially like fertilizing the weeds in your garden. There’s nothing wrong with being open about struggling with your faults — in fact, that can be quite helpful for growth. Your thoughts and words carry energy, though.
Here's something to ask yourself: is this thought pattern one that I want to increase?
Here are some positive self-talk statements you can use when you notice yourself in a downward spiral of thoughts and emotions. Play with the variations; come up with your own. See what helps.
Let yourself be a journey.
Positive Self-Talk: Alternatives to Beating Yourself up and Keeping Yourself Down
Instead of mulling over why you’re unworthy, not good enough, or less-than:
- I love you anyway.
- I still love you.
- I still believe in who you are.
- I still believe in who you can be.
- I believe in who I can be.
- I am loved anyway.
Instead of revisiting mistakes:
- I can do this next thing with love.
- What I do now matters most.
- Right now matters more.
- I choose this next thing from a place of love.
- I recognize the part of me that’s trying to do something healthy.
- I see who I don’t want to be, which helps me to see with greater clarity who I do want to be.
I cast my future upon the foundation of my present, not on the old patterns of my past.
Instead of counting all of your burdens, obstacles, worries, and to-dos:
- Transition “I’m not there yet” to “Actually, I’m one step closer.”
- I am willing to ask for help where I need it.
- I am willing to see this in another light. That’s a good start.
- I am on the right path because it’s bumpy and I’m carving my own way there.
- I don’t know what my purpose is, but I’m curious enough to find out.
- I can figure this out.
- I am ready to learn and grow.
Instead of focusing on lack (time, money, etc.):
- Transition “I don’t have time” to “It’s not a priority.”
- I am focusing on my priorities.
- I’ll try trusting that what I want also wants me, and it won’t get here before I’m ready for it and it’s ready for me.
- I am capable of feeling abundant.
- I am getting closer to what I need.
Only grow thoughts in your brain that you wouldn't mind putting in a vase. And if you find weeds instead, just get to gardening.
Instead of admonishing yourself for thinking, speaking, or acting in undesirable ways:
- I appreciate my willingness to acknowledge the truth and choose again.
- Thankfully, I can choose again, starting now.
- I’m proud of you, _______ (your name), for being aware of the detours into fear.
- There’s my assignment to show up with more love. (I honor myself for seeing it.)
- That’s cool that I keep showing up for myself.
Face your fears with a big awareness and big love, and the fears turn into ways you can love bigger.
. . .
Bonus! This is from my book, Sleep Affirmations:
“I can be easy on myself. It is possible for me to give myself the courtesy of compassion. It is a practice, and I am willing to participate. Personal struggles are worthy of patience too. I am moving in a better direction now.”
Which of these thoughts did you need to read today?
Tell me in the comments. I read every single one, and I'd love to know!
P.S. For 200 ideas straight from my heart to yours, get my book, Sleep Affirmations. You'll find new ways to talk nice to yourself about yourself. You'll feel better. You'll sleep better. And life will be... better.