You rewrite your own reality by choosing experiences that better reflect what you love. Say yes because you’re excited instead of obligated. Say no because you need rest, not because saying yes stresses you out. It’s in the choices you make every day, big and small, that you’ll find the freedom to love what you do and how you do it.

I’m openly sharing my new year intention to encourage you as you chart a new course for your life — one decision at a time.

I always find that one at a time — one breath, one moment, one decision at a time — is the most graceful way to change. It also seems like the most powerful and practical way to craft a more loving world (one person at a time, from the inside out).

That’s what this new year intention is all about: mindfully engaging with our lives, one experience at a time.

My new year intention for 2019 is to say yes from a place of love and to say no from a place of love. This intention covers all the bases: next steps in career, letting go of what’s not working, being honest with friends and family about what I need, taking care of my mental health without being so hard on myself.

Sounds like a sweet sentiment, but oh, it’s one of the more difficult tasks we can set out to accomplish.

Choosing to lead from a place that feels loving to you can be incredibly painful because it often means pausing, connecting with discomfort, and saying no (all difficult things, but easier and more empowering with practice).

Loving your decisions takes a great deal of intention and probably a higher level of awareness than you’re used to. You’re not only being mindful of how you feel but of what feelings and energies you choose to fuel your future with. It’s an awakening and a training in your internal dialogue.

I chose intentional decisions as my focus this year because lives are built from our moment-to-moment experiences. Take care of something you do each day and you’ll be taking care of your entire future (maybe even your past).

Right where you fully are is where the power of the universe is: the power to change, the power to choose, the power to be on purpose.

If you’d like to make this new year intention of choosing love your own, here are just some examples of what it might look like for you on a daily basis. I hope they inspire you to think of how you can create a more enjoyable reality for yourself based on your obvious and subtlest yeses and nos.

Remember: a thought can be changed and a habit can become second nature. Believe in what you can do and in how you can do it. Believe in a better life through every single decision.

A New Year Intention to Choose (with) Love: What It Means

1. Saying no to a party because you need to spend time with your emotions, not because you’re angry at never having any downtime. Not being sorry about doing what’s best for you.

2. Saying yes to a healthy meal in a show of appreciation for your body, not as punishment or with disappointment for missing out on something more immediately satisfying.

3. Reaching out to a friend in need with the intention to care and listen and understand, not out of fear for their well-being or your attachment to fixing them.

4. Choosing to be with one task at a time. Releasing your attachment to doing everything right now. Letting go of everything that is not this one task. Staying with the discomfort without running to distractions. Pausing in the middle of the rush. Taking a deep breath. Creating a little space. Reflecting on what you’re doing. Letting it be enough. Bringing mindfulness to your body, breath, surroundings.

5. Choosing to honor where you are as a valuable experience of its own right, rather than just as a stepping stone to where you’re going. Honoring the direction and releasing your need to fast forward into the future.

6. Practicing loving kindness with whatever shows up. Releasing your attachment to escaping what’s here: painful emotions, frustration, boredom, doubt, feelings of unworthiness, anxiety.

7. Saying “no, thank you” when your resources or values feel compromised or you feel over-obligated. Understanding that this is not selfish but wise and respectful.

8. Choosing to be willing to forgive even if you’re not ready to forgive. Your willingness is in devotion to living a life that feels loving and free for you. Deciding not to feed the energy of the insult and the pain that fueled it.

9. Instead of getting frustrated with the waiting, mindfully opting to practice allowing the process to unfold in its own due time. Treating the journey like it’s most of life and thus most worthy of your care and respect. Waiting with purpose by trusting the timing of your life as you do what you can from this place with as much joy and appreciation as possible.

10. Leaving something alone if it’s too painful to process right now. Making this decision intentionally and perhaps with a prayer for healing. Countering any negative self-talk that comes up with deep breathing, a hand on your heart, and compassion.

11. Opting for discovery over winning, learning over proving, resonance over force, and being kind over conquering.

. . .

Tell me:

Which of these thoughts did you really need today?

Tell me in the comments. I read every single one, and I’d love to know!

Only love,

Jen