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How to Let Go: 3 Basic Letting Go Practices for Real Peace of Mind

How to Let Go: 3 Basic Letting Go Practices for Real Peace of Mind

I think of letting go as diving in, not turning away. As living in each moment, getting as close to a full life experience as possible in this one moment. To do that, you need to learn how to let go of what isn't yours to hold forever. Here are a few ideas that can help.

“Leave your front door and your back door open. Allow your thoughts to come and go. Just don’t serve them tea.” — Shunryu Suzuki

Let's start by letting go of the need to let go perfectly. Seems like a valid place to start.

How to Let Go: 3 Foundational Practices to Make Space for True Peace Inside

1. Acceptance first.

At its core, an attachment is about not wanting something to be the way it is. It is resistance to reality, and it's hard to change what you never acknowledged needed changing in the first place.

You may want something to be different, but you need to honor what is, for what it is, first.

Fight what is, and it’ll fight back. Try to rush your healing with angst rather than curiosity, and it’ll hold you back.

Over and over, acceptance is the practice of opening and investigating the moment with curiosity, courage, and deep breaths.

Letting go doesn't mean you resist or avoid, just that you don't serve tea to every passing thought.

2. Meditation.

Paying attention to the present moment creates space around the things floating around in our head. You don’t have to erase the thoughts or control them, just keep coming back to your observation of them, your breath, or a mantra or other focal point.

Through meditation, it’s possible to see how we attach to worries, planning, and ruminating. We can practice letting go of these attachments by simply refocusing on the present moment.

Meditation is peace training, space making, and a way to lighten the load of everything we’re carrying.

3. Connecting with compassion.

Compassion is a practice too, a skill that can be built no matter who you are or what your past looks like.

Try to see every attachment as a call for compassion. In your meditations, wish for an end to your suffering, and let that loving awareness evolve into a wish for the end of the suffering of others.

As you focus on warming your heart, attachments start to melt and you’re granted a little wiggle room. Your awareness grows. Instead of dwelling on what you’re trying to let go, you focus on loving anyway.

You see others’ suffering, and your suffering is suddenly not so different or impossible.


. . .

Tell me:

Which of these letting go practices could you use the most today?

Tell me in the comments. I read every single one, and I’d love to know!

With love,


P.S. Need help letting go at night? Get my book Sleep Rituals for 100 at-home practices that are all about you. And the present moment. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, not even what happened today. You deserve that kind of peace.

Comments on this post (5)

  • Oct 10, 2022

    I am age 63. I have emotional dependency.
    My children are grown and on their own.
    I left a relationship ( just one of the past relationships with high emotional dependency)
    I am retiring after 35 Years Government service early next year.
    I am having a tremendous time legging go…. of my job.
    For the first time, I just realize after retirement, it will be only me.
    Child rearing days are over, there is no relationship to cling my emotional claws into and no job to help cover up my long time hurt and pain.
    I feel I am now in a grieving stage. I feel I am going into just survival mode.
    This article helped me a lot, it gave me a place to start, it gave me hope.

    Many thanks! :)

    — Candra Antoine

  • Nov 15, 2021

    Meditation and compassion is what I think will work best on my letting go journey thanks so much !

    — Cherise

  • Jan 03, 2021

    Meditation for the peace training and load lightening is what is being brought up again & again for me.

    Thankyou your words are simple and thought evoking.

    — Amy

  • Jun 13, 2019

    Compassion is a great medicine. Thanks for sharing this with me today, Valerie… I’m so glad this could help and inspire. Love to you! ~ Jen

    — Jennifer Williamson

  • Jun 13, 2019

    I needed this today it was very helpful truthfully sent from GOD I think compassion is what I need to break this cycle. but all of them are helpful Thank You .

    — Valerie

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