10 Ways to Love Yourself Fiercely, Like You Really Mean It
When you muster the courage to love and embrace yourself... all your humanness, flaws, and rejections included... you open new doors. They lead to genuine connection with others, purpose in your work, joy in the middle of everything. Here are ten simple ways to love yourself so you can live better.
“Let today be the day you love yourself enough to no longer just dream of a better life; let today be the day you act upon it.” – Steve Maraboli
10 Ways to Love Yourself Like You Really Mean it
1. Tell yourself that you ARE enough.
Actually say it: “I am enough.”
When you feel like you aren’t enough, tell yourself that you are. Repeating this affirmation helps instill a sense of love and acceptance. It'll take time and repetition to sink in, but it will.
Give yourself credit for what you are instead of discrediting yourself for what you aren’t.
You’re on a path of remembered wholeness, of learning how whole you are underneath all the pieces of yourself.
"The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself." – Maya Angelou
2. Favor the belief that you carry infinite potential to overcome.
Whatever you’re dealing with right now, know that you’re eternally equipped with the capacity to move through it.
Emotional discomfort will come and go like the changing seasons. When accepted, you can use your discomfort to transform frustration into resilience, hatred into kindness, inexperience into awareness, and doubt into hope.
Believe in your ability to climb over this wall, and believe you’re worthy enough to see what’s on the other side.
3. View yourself as a being on a path of continuous self-education.
One of the highest forms of self-love is the act of investing copious amounts of time and energy into improving yourself. You’re your own best investment, to be sure. The gifts you have to share can only grow when you do.
When you feel like you’re on an ever-evolving path of expansion, you can open up to receive what’s next for you, treasuring every chance to learn and grow.
4. Respect your desires (they're cues).
In the morning, ask yourself what’s really important to you, and then find the courage to build your day around your answer.
Devote your time and energy to nurturing your passions, strengths, and desires. Be honest about who you feel yourself to be and what you want to experience. Invest in the activities you care about.
Doing things you care about is one of the most rewarding and life-giving ways to love yourself, and that kind of devotion is exactly what this world needs.
A good life is about making the decision each day to do something that moves you.
5. Value this moment. Have reverence for the life that’s here.
Self-awareness is a form of self-love.
So much is lost if we don’t pay attention to life as we’re living it. You can’t build a solid connection with anyone, including yourself, unless you’re fully engaged. Show up in your entirety, with mindful reverence for the life that’s being expressed right now. You’ll see how empowering this can be.
6. Be honest with who you really are, deep down.
Pay more attention to what’s going on inside of you, and be honest with what you see. Meditation, self-reflection, journaling, massage, energy work, and therapy are all healthy forms of contemplation that can give you the chance to be quiet with yourself.
Underneath your insecurity, self-doubt, anxiety, and weakness is something else. A light, a strength, a truth that wants to be seen, held, and known. You can heal and let go of what's not *you* anymore.
You can learn to love yourself through the process of getting back to who you know you really are, underneath all that's not you.
7. Forgive your past self.
Everything contributes to the healing process. You don’t heal despite anything, but because of everything. You're human, you move, you stumble, you learn.
Focus less on old news and pay more attention to what you’re going to start doing now.
8. Be compassionate with your feelings.
Don’t avoid or dismiss what you’re feeling. Paying attention to your emotions is not soft or weak, but a necessary part of moving forward.
Explore your feelings and listen to what they’re telling you. No emotion is right or wrong; it’s a guide. Emotional pain alerts you to something that needs to change, but judging yourself for feeling a certain way only causes you to feel rejected by yourself and keeps you stuck in that negative place.
Attend to your feelings with honesty, compassion when it’s hard, and forgiveness when you're ready.
9. Tell yourself that it’s okay to not please everyone.
Not everyone will like you and understand you, and that’s okay. In fact, if you learn to expect and respect this, you can finally find peace inside yourself. No matter what other people think.
This is *your life* after all.
You have the final say in how loved you feel.
By approaching relationships from this place of self-respect and self-sufficiency, you can gently teach the people around you about who you are. About what you have to offer. And you’ll have enough sense to walk away from what doesn't feed the love you carry.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." – Eleanor Roosevelt
10. Take responsibility for the love you experience.
You can’t neglect yourself because you hope someone else is going to save you, and end up feeling loved through and through.
Try working from the inside out instead.
Try taking responsibility for yourself emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually. Try taking responsibility for your happiness and your suffering. Try loving yourself as a means of better sharing your love with the world around you.
. . .
Which of these thoughts did you most need today?
Tell me in the comments. I read every single one, and I’d love to know!
P.S. Never forget how valuable you are, how far you’ve come. Go visit my shop to find the perfect poetry print that celebrates you in your fullness, in your mess and magic and everything in between.
Comments on this post (4)
Samira, I’m honored these words found you and can support you where you’re at right now. May they bring some light and fresh air. With you ~ Jen
— Jennifer Williamson
I usually don’t comment but your words were really touching me. I needed to hear all of them. Thank you so much for sharing. I want to print it out and place it somewhere I can reread it. God willing it will help me.
Have a wonderful day
Nicola, reading this made my day so much brighter, thank you for sharing that! I’m honored my words could be what you needed – could remind you of your own light and goodness and power to forgive. It’s okay to change, and it’s okay to be you. <3
— Jennifer Williamson
The thought I needed the most today was “Forgive your past self”.
I have held on to my past experiences with a tight grip and have been reliving those decisions and choices for many years. When I read that thought this evening it was like a lightbulb went off for me. I have read similar adages before, but something about your words just clicked in my brain and I felt awakened.
My past may have shaped who I am now because of the lessons I have learned, but I didn’t realize how much guilt I was carrying along with me. Trying to remember the good things about the bad choices… That woke me up.
Thank you for this post, and thank you for offering me clarity through the clouds of my mind!