When Everything Sucks and You Need to Change, Remember These 4 Things
Ever want to burn every bridge you’ve ever built so you can start all over again? Or, OK, even one will do? You need to change. You can feel it in your bones that staying the same isn’t an option anymore. If you feel it, you’re in the right place! Rock bottom, sick and tired, whatever you want to call it — it’s sacred ground. Here's where you rebuild.
Sometimes you just got to start fresh, you know? Clean slate your life up (not sure that’s a saying, but… whatever).
“Whatever” can be a powerful word when you’re fed up. It’s not a bad place to start building something new.
But you don’t have to burn all your bridges (or everything you’ve ever written, in my case) to be different starting… now.
Take this figuratively or literally:
You can write a crap first draft on a blank page and not even care that it’s crap. Why? Because you need to keep going. You need to move, even if your first moves look sloppy. You’ve got to start somewhere.
Important note: By the end of this month, I'm going to push some big changes through here! Stay tuned. I almost can't wait to share what's new with you.
4 things to remember if you need to change but don’t know how
1. You don’t have to know everything about this change.
Do it scared. You can be afraid and brave at the same time — in fact, one lets the other exist.
Blank pages (for writers and every other human) are terrifying most of the time. I mean, they can be a symbol of freedom and adventure, for sure, but definitely mostly terrifying.
My point is, you don’t have to know what you’re doing. You don’t need to be beautiful or successful or fierce about it. What you need is to keep going.
Run if you want. Walk if you can. Crawl if you need.
You’ll make mistakes. But those mistakes are what you build miracles on — or, at least, something different.
2. Stop running away from what hurts.
Oh, girl, you’ve got to feel it. (For the record, I say “hey, girl” to my boyfriend. Haven’t asked if he likes it or not.)
You need to explore why you need to change. If you dig in, you’ll likely get answers to questions you didn’t even know you had.
Might help to pull some of those answers out of you with questions like:
- What hasn’t been working?
- What feels like a burden?
- What expectations do I have for myself, my relationships, and my work? How would it feel if I let these go?
- What would I love to never have to do (or feel) again?
Get more of these prompts (and better ones) in Danielle LaPorte’s Free and Clear Workbook, which is a free part of her Desire Map Planner Program. Download your free worksheet here to get started figuring out what needs to go. So worth it.
Your dissatisfaction is your point of connection to what you want. You need to get clear on what you don’t first so you can make the real change happen.
Explore the hurt. It’s the best way to understand it and then transform it — dare I say, the only way.
3. Quit criticizing yourself about what you need to change.
It’s time. You’re ready for something new. You might not know exactly what that “something” looks like or how it plays out. You have hopes, but you also have doubts.
Good news! Faith and doubt can coexist. They're not oil and water. They're more like cousins who are really close, or something.
So stop bashing yourself for being doubtful about any part of this process. Stop beating yourself up for not changing sooner.
Take a step back and observe without judging yourself. That'll give you the freedom to explore a deeper layer of frustration without getting lost in it.
The fact that you have enough self-awareness to know it's time to change, and enough courage to try something new is nothing short of awesome. And impressive.
Psst: Give your courage some oomph and pick up a copy of my new book, Morning Affirmations: 200 Phrases for an Intentional and Openhearted Start to Your Day!
4. Make room in the middle of everything for gratitude.
You don’t need to be a spiritual master to get good at being #grateful for something in the middle of a mess. All you need to do is see beauty in your life and those around you.
What are you tired of feeling, and what makes you feel the way you want to feel?
Tell me in the comments. I ready every single one, and I'd love to know!
You have what it takes to make this change.
You have everything you need to be who you’re meant to be, to feel how you want to feel.
Your obstacles are nothing compared to you.
P.S. Need support while you're making changes? Grab my new book, Morning Affirmations, to start each day on the right foot. You'll try out new thoughts that bring in new energy, which you need for making a better life.
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