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Low on Self-Love? Keep Up Your Self-Care: Some Words of Encouragement

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Low on Self-Love? Keep Up Your Self-Care: Some Words of Encouragement

If your self-love is shoddy or shot, here's something to keep in mind.

Your self-love might waver, but your self-care doesn’t have to.

Here’s what I mean...

Loving yourself can be really really hard. A bumpy ride. A hopeless start. There could be a Monday you’re happy with who you are and what you’re doing. By Tuesday you want to escape.

And on the days you don’t even like yourself? You can still take care of yourself.

If your self-love is shoddy or shot, keep this in mind: your self-love might waver but your self-care doesn’t have to stop. Tiny acts of care keep you afloat in times of self-loathing. And you don't need to take care of yourself because you love yourself. Do it for no reason at all. The love will come. Eventually.

Tiny acts of self-care keep you afloat in times of self-loathing.

Here’s how I do it:

Eat a good breakfast. Put myself in the sun. Pull up some weeds (granted I could do more of that). Lie down and breathe real slow. Take my vitamins. Do a couple stretches if I can't yoga for a whole hour.

You can do the easy things. The point is that you can do (or not do) something.

Your self-care rituals don’t have to stop when your self-love feels shoddy.

These are the days you reverse-engineer the love and work backwards. The love might not inspire the care, but the care is a path back to the love.

Sometimes, you go through the motions to get the love flowing. And that's okay.

Eventually, you get there — back to a state that feels more like love. One way or another.

Do whatever you can muster the strength to do. Do nothing and call it compassion. Whatever you do or don’t do, you don’t need to call it self-love. Just let it be… what it is.

Let it be a moment.

Let it be a breath.

Let it be a break.

Let it be a flower.

Let it be a poem read, a poem felt, a poem lived.

And for a moment, forget about the word “worthy” or “deserve.”

Just take care of this moment. Make it a friend. Turn it into something it wasn’t before.

You don’t need to take care of yourself because you love yourself, or because you deserve it.

You can take care of yourself for no reason at all. Let the love come in its own time.

Just know:

Even in the middle of everything you feel and are and don’t like, you can find love.

There’s love, even inside the not-love.

There's strength, even when you don't feel strong.

But if you can’t stand calling anything “love” right now, take another breath. Step into the sun anyway. Drink tea just because.

Life’s a dance and a poem and a mystery and, well, everything. And you’re in it. And you belong here.

Let yourself be in it.

Let yourself be.

. . .

Tell me:

What here did you really needed to read today?

Tell me in the comments. I’d love to know, and it'll help me help other people better. In that way, too, you're a gift.

~ Jen

If your self-love is shoddy or shot, keep this in mind: your self-love might waver but your self-care doesn’t have to stop. Tiny acts of care keep you afloat in times of self-loathing. And you don't need to take care of yourself because you love yourself. Do it for no reason at all. The love will come. Eventually.

Comments on this post (8)

  • Sep 23, 2019

    Mark, thank you so so much for writing this! I’m so glad you’re here too. I appreciate your honesty and all the hard inner work that you’ve done and continue to do for your own healing… it’s healing for all those around you… for all of us <3 Sending you all my love ~ you’re an inspiration to me. With you, Jen

    — Jennifer Williamson

  • Sep 23, 2019

    Thank you so much for your website and your compassionate, encouraging, and healing words!! I have clinical depression and see a therapist, psychiatrist, and take medication. I attempted suicide a few years ago and thank G-D I am still hear. I’m not sure how I found you but am sure glad I did!! Mark

    — Mark Stern

  • Sep 16, 2019

    Anjali, thank you for saying this, it warms my heart knowing my words can help you see just how valuable you are, no matter what you do or don’t do today <3

    — Jennifer Williamson

  • Sep 16, 2019

    Vittoria, you’re so welcome! I’m touched that these words and my site can help and inspire you to appreciate the little things you already do for yourself :) you’re allowed to let the little things be a victory, to let yourself feel the love <3

    — Jennifer Williamson

  • Sep 16, 2019

    Mariah, you’re welcome! I’m so touched and grateful that these lines resonated with you in a real way. Your comment made my day <3

    — Jennifer Williamson

  • Sep 16, 2019

    I loved this poem. I’ve been feeling super low since morning, not being able to bring myself to even brush my teeth. But reading this poem brought something back in me. Thanks.

    — Anjali Garg

  • Sep 16, 2019

    Just stumbled on your amazing website and it’s exactly what i need! Realizing deeply lately that I need to give myself more self-love, more soul nourishment and then came across your site. I love how you write – it all resonates with me and I’ve gone through several pages of your site already. Thanks for putting this all out there. I do so many of these actions already that you describe above, but I think I need to give myself more credit for these tiny acts and to see them as self-love instead of searching for something more/bigger to love myself with. Instead, I just need to appreciate my small daily acts of self-love and let myself take them in FULLY and feel presence and gratitude in those moments. Let myself actually feel that love…

    Anyways, all of this to say – THANK YOU!

    — Vittoria

  • Sep 16, 2019

    Thank you, thank you! for your gentleness and simplicity.

    I loved “The point is that you can do (or not do) something.”
    And this: “Let it be a moment. Let it be a breath. Let it be a break. Let it be a flower. Let it be a poem read, a poem felt, a poem lived.”
    And this: Life’s a dance and a poem and a mystery and, well, everything. And you’re in it. And you belong here."

    My breath is fuller now. My face, softer.

    — Mariah

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