Self-compassion when you need it most can change your entire day, your whole life. Try this practice when shame, anxiety, depression, or stress have a hold on you. It'll help you get ahold of the way you want to feel, so you can live... better.

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” - Maya Angelou

What Self-Compassion Means

There are three components of self-compassion, according to Dr. Kristin Neff:

“Self-compassion involves being kind to oneself when confronting personal inadequacies or situational difficulties, framing the imperfections of life in terms of common humanity, and being mindful of negative emotions so that one neither suppresses nor ruminates on them.”

How about trying to appreciate your humanity, the fact that you’re not alone in the very human experience of suffering. The very real experience, the kind that means you're alive. You're here, and life means: you get everything.

You get the pain. You get the wonder. You get thrill and thought and thorns and, yes, roses too.

1. Kindness Towards Yourself

Self-kindness is taking an approach of understanding rather than punishing. It’s saying, “This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. Let me be kind to myself in this moment. Let me give myself the compassion I need.”

Showing yourself some compassion doesn’t mean you think your problems are more important than anyone else’s. It means you think your problems are also important and worthy of some kindness.

Self-criticism asks if you're good enough. Self-compassion asks, "What's good for you?"

You can even write yourself a letter from the perspective of a friend. Some research shows that if you do that for seven days in a row, it decreases depression for three months and increases happiness for six months.

2. Acknowledge Your Common Humanity

You're not alone, even when you feel like you are.

The feeling that "this is abnormal and nobody could ever possibly understand me, not now or ever" creates isolation, which is nothing but damaging. And not true.

Self-compassion means you get it: suffering and imperfection are integral parts of the human condition, and it’s a way to feel more connected to others. More connected to everything. All the blue and green, the sky and the dirt, the stars and the cells.

If you genuinely want to make the world a better place, realize that *you* are an essential part of the place.

3. Mindfulness

The third element of self-compassion is mindfulness, accepting what is, even when it’s uncomfortable. Being compassionate doesn’t mean running away from the dark thoughts or feelings, but shining the light of attention on them.

Stay with the pain until you can hold it in your spacious, generous heart.

Glance in your own direction, in the mirror, and ask yourself:

What do you need today?

How can I support you?

How can I help you?

What words do you need to hear today?

. . .

Tell me:

Which of these thoughts did you need to read today?

Tell me in the comments. I read every single one, and I’d love to know.

What if you just decided that you ARE enough?

With love,

Jen

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P.S. Never forget how valuable you are, how far you’ve come, how much potential you have. Go visit my shop for the (im)perfect poetry print that celebrates you in your fullness, in your mess and magic and everything in between.