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A Poem to Open Your Heart to Healing, On Your Own Terms

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A Poem to Open Your Heart to Healing, On Your Own Terms

In your own due time, in your own way, one breath at a time. That's the best way to heal. If you're not sure how you'll make it through this, read this poem. Open your heart to things happening for you, to all the things that can help you. So your whole life has a little more room to breathe, and change.

“You can’t rush your healing; darkness has its teachings.” — Trevor Hall

Open Your Heart to Healing

I tried to heal more consciously this time.

With the well-intentioned thoughts

Of healing myself,

I distracted myself from myself.

This time,

I wanted to feel all my feelings;

I wanted to show up fully.

It wasn’t that I was ignoring the bad stuff;

I dove into it, willingly,

With the intention of

Being all there.

 

I wanted to be there for myself, but

I ended up cluttering myself with

Everything I wasn’t letting go.

I was letting myself be

In the suffering

With so much intention for

Self-compassion this time,

With so much “loving” focus on

The loss I felt.

I held on to every painful expression.

I held on to so much sadness,

A lot of anger—

Much more than I had planned for, but

Somehow, still

Everything I had planned for.

 

Things couldn’t flow through me;

They got trapped in me.

I dwelled on grieving with love;

I dwelled in grief.

I relinquished my playfulness.

Exercise was too burdensome, a task.

I felt awkward with friends.

I felt smothered by everything.

My energy was already devoted:

Not enough for what I wanted, for

What I used to love;

No energy to be at peace inside.

 

Life had to reset.

It feels that way right now.

All of a sudden I know what hope really is.

It’s like this: I remember.

I remembered that I needed to

Finish a chapter

To be free to enjoy the next.

I remembered what it felt like to

Play.

I remembered that I need to get

So weak,

So desperate for a better way,

To surrender and ask for help.

 

Help comes in like a generous wave,

Altering our sight, so

We suddenly see with clarity

What we’ve been needing all along.

Sometimes we need a wave,

So big, so unmistakably for us,

So that it can’t be ignored.

We need to ask for help:

Seeking new ways;

Whispering a prayer;

Walking with a friend;

We do what we can.

Answers will always be

What we’re given.

 

I finally asked.

I finally heard an answer.

It was too big to describe in words,

Too all-encompassing to

Condense into a single action.

I think I know why my head has felt

So caged,

My body so tired,

My system so numb from the shocks.

I wanted to be so open to this pain, but

I closed my heart off.

The things I was unintentionally blocking

Were trying to get in.

I was so

Busy,

Busy,

Busy holding on to

Every

Single

Sliver of suffering.

No wonder I couldn’t hear the answer:

Open.

Open.

Open.

. . .

Tell me:

Which part of this poem did you need to read today?

Tell me in the comments. I read every single one, and I'd love to know.

With love,

Jen

P.S. Feel better about where you are with my book Sleep Affirmations. No matter what you've been through. No matter what needs to change. You'll get light where you need it most. And you’ll feel… better.

Comments on this post (4)

  • May 25, 2020

    João, thank you for sharing this, and I am honored this poem resonated with you and your experience. May you find peace even in the pain xx

    — Jennifer Williamson

  • May 25, 2020

    Your poem reminds my recently survival from a painful separation. It describes so well my experience that it seems we both lived it. Opening my hearth made life happen after several years of suffering in silence… It is the best experience I can describe so far. Thanks you for the sharing.

    — João Tomás

  • Mar 29, 2020

    Michele, thank you, firstly, for opening your heart and sharing this. I am sorry you’ve had such hurt to carry after all these years, having gone through so much. My heart is with you, and I believe you can make it through, you will make it through, if you take it just one day at a time. One moment at a time. You can email me whenever, even just to let some words out :) You’re strong just for being here. You’re someone who no one else could replace. Sending you love and strength and light wherever you need it xx

    — Jennifer Williamson

  • Mar 29, 2020

    Today is a Year for My New Beginning with my Husband. With a temporary Wedding Bands I bought to replace the ones we put on a temporary loan for money to save are Storage unit with memories in it. Are life has been a Rough road. Losing home living in some many places for 14 years . Still in temporary living . As my husband fell deep and deeper into depression and self worth and helping he Resorted to something that BROKE MY SOUL.. He Resorted to porn chat and site it was very bad, as I am the strong one my heart and soul weakened. Stomach hurt my mind heart and soul . I cried were I couldn’t breath. I had taken and Anxiety meds I have for my OCD I take has needed. This day I took to many and I Unconsciously texted my husband saying good bye that was going see my brother. But my brother been in Heaven for 22 years . My son came in the hotel room were we’re been living for 3 years and he saw and try to comfort me and call my husband and told him had to come home (we called it) He said Mom everything will be ok, I have to leave . I ‘ll be right back , it that point he was going get my husband. And after in that time is when I took the pills cause the crying waa so bad more after left .At that point my husband got the text that I was going to see my brother to which he realize there something wrong .And at that point call an ambulance. So my long story is still the same about lives. But I wanted to try to a have New Beginning fresh start even though I am still hurting . I wanted a Bond and I felt the Wedding Bands was one of which needed to strengthen are Marriage. Your words of this poem so I can relate and help me realize what and how I have move on and Cope with this . So today is 1 Year of are New Beginning It hurts to say it. But my heart still needs Mending. We"ve been Marry 29years And his been my Soul mate. So you can why my soul and heart was broken So that’s my Story. 😇

    — Michele

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